October 28, 2010
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Weird,
the past few nights I haven’t been able to sleep. Anyways, so, this weekend everyone wants me to throw a party. But honestly? I don’t really want to throw one. Idk why, I know I’m not over partying, idk, I just wanna chill at home and watch scary movies, or do something non-alcohol related. Weird huh? A lot of weird things have been happening lately, one of them being my relationship with my parents. In the past month or so it seems as if they realize that I’m not their little boy anymore, and I like that. My mom is always going to see me as “the baby,” that’ll never change. But she’s learning to let go, and in turn I’ve learned to love on her more. I can be really mean to my mom sometimes, and I wonder if she actually knows that I love her. I don’t do well with emotions, moreso expressing them, so it’s kind of hard to tell her. Just think, in a year from now, I’m going to be a totally different person, hopefully living in a totally new city, with totally new people. If frightens me and amazes me all at the same time. Two more months and first semester is over, damn. As I look back at my senior year so far, I know I could’ve made better decisions, but hey, if everything was perfect, would anything really be perfect? Without the blemishes that life brings, I think that we as a race would be unable to appreciate the things that truly matter. Well, I can’t sleep, so I’m gonna listen to some more music, that slow jams playlist has been on repeat.
Au Revoir,
Derf Sllew
